Who do you think you’re fooling?

I weigh 183 pounds and am 42 years of age. There. I did it. In one sentence I shared with hundreds of people (many of whom I don’t know) two of the most closely guarded secrets kept by most women: my weight and my age. For some reason, many women in our society have been conditioned to believe that they are somehow ‘deficient’ if they don’t fit some physical ideal and/or are over a certain age so they go to great lengths to keep the information a secret. Some men do the same thing. Of course they tend to be less concerned with their weight and age than they are about their professional accomplishments, sports ability and ‘prowess’. The ‘deviations from the truth’ may be different, but the intention is often the same: to hide who they really are.

It’s tempting to lie or “stretch the truth” from time to time to save face or be spared the judgments of others. But the truth of the matter is that every lie we tell about who we are through our words (saying we weigh less or earn more than we really do) or through our actions (living beyond our means or staying in relationships that steadily destroy our spirit to avoid the ‘stigma’ of being single) has the same effect: a steady erosion of our self-confidence and dimming of our inner light.

Not accepting the truth of who we are short-circuits our ability to improve the areas of our lives with which we are dissatisfied. Living in a false realty prevents us from attracting people and recognizing opportunities that could help us make the changes needed to bring us closer to the person we want to be and answer the true calling on our lives. It also keeps us from experiencing gratitude for what IS working in our life. Not to mention the fact that 9 times out of 10 the person who is on the receiving end of the lie can probably see right through you. It’s a natural law from which there is no escape: the truth WILL out.

We all have areas our lives that we want to change or improve. We don’t need to wear all of our challenges on our sleeves or announce them to the world. However we could benefit greatly from accepting ‘what is’ so that we can create the mental space needed to craft the life that we want. Time spent maintaining the illusion of who you WANT to be would be better spent working on who you really are.

It hasn’t been easy but I have been striving to be my most authentic self with those closest to me. I have also been working to be less judgmental of others. This is a huge challenge for me because I am VERY opinionated and have a history of being extremely judgmental. I’m committed to making this change in myself in hopes that people around me will feel more comfortable being their authentic selves around me and return the favor.

So what about you? Do you have the courage to be your true self? You were born with a unique set of gifts and talents to fill a need in this world. We will never reap the benefits of your genius if you do not allow your true self to emerge – warts and all. You are the only ‘you’ this world will ever know. In encourage you to find the courage to live your truth and let all that you truly are shine through.